Real Talk

Navigating sibling squabbles is part of my daily life. Like many siblings, our three and six-year-old daughters are often playing happily and often fighting. And as often happens, the process of parenting our girls through hard moments reveals a lot of what is going on in my own heart as well. Learning what to say and when to say it feels like an unending journey as a mama, with plenty of opportunities to do it right and make mistakes.  The other day, we were in the backyard and our older neighbor came to say hi. This woman is precious and gentle and a bit dignified. As we chatted and caught up, the girls were playing nearby. Suddenly there was some...

The journey to parenthood looks different for everyone. For some it is an unexpected surprise for others it is the culmination of years of struggle.  No matter which side of the spectrum you’re on there are a lot of unexpected emotions. For those dealing with infertility, it’s up and down, positive and negative. Infertility steals joy, sparks fear, and stokes feelings of failure and resentment. It crushes self-esteem and makes you question yourself, it pushes you down. It also teaches you to fight, and compassion and empathy, and gratitude. You feel so isolated. You feel like you’re the only one when really you’re 1 in 8. This is how I felt. Hope to Hopeless If you look at birth control statistics...

On my daughter's birthday, yet another horrific act of violence was committed in our country. There was talk about it on social media and in the news, but I’ll be honest: I wanted a pass on caring. I wanted to take a minute to not care and to just focus on my baby’s birthday, not to mention navigating a personal health crisis. People say “I can’t care about everything” or “I can’t speak up about everything.” And while of course, that’s technically true, I find it’s often a cop-out when something feels too hard or overwhelming or controversial to engage in. Trust me, I get. I have three little kids at home full time, my husband runs a start-up that...

I’ve always been the type of person that had absolutely no idea what to do or say when a loved one was hurting. I’ve always felt absolutely useless in these situations and as if I needed to step aside and let an adult handle it. Here are some things that stuck with me during a time I needed help: Don’t try to fill the silence. My best friend once said, “There’s not anything you can say to make it better, but there’s a lot you can say to make it worse.” Just let her be sad, hurt, angry, etc. It’s kind of selfish to fill silence just because you’re uncomfortable anyway, right? Buy a houseplant. Even if a mom thinks she has...

I had a cesarean section to have my daughter in 2018. Though I ended up having an emergency one on a day I didn’t schedule, the original plan was to schedule it because my daughter was breech. I was surrounded by other pregnant women while I was pregnant. Many were doing everything in their control to have a natural birth. They talked about it a lot and I enjoyed listening. I was always intrigued by natural birth but never saw it as a journey I wanted to embark on. Here’s the thing... I quickly found out there’s a subgroup of women in the natural birth category that believe how you birth your child is not only not your personal business and decision,...