The Reality of Gender Bias

Who doesn’t get excited about a baby announcement? Your own, a family member, a friend, or even a stranger’s announcement is exciting. It is all hunky-dory until someone brings up the whole gender topic and not in a “I can’t wait to meet him or her!’

‘Oh how I hope you have a boy!’

I never truly understood the whole gender bias thing until I was expecting. When I found out my first was a girl, I will never forget the comment “Good luck with a girl!” (Insert Major, Major Eye Roll!) Really?! I was pretty excited to have a girl. Thoughts of future manicures and girl talks filled my head. The comment was forgotten in a matter of seconds. Then I became pregnant 6 months later.

With this second pregnancy came the comments “Oh how I hope you have a boy!” I can see where some people think it is a perfect little world when a family has at least one of each gender: the ability to experience having a boy and a girl. Should this be made into such a big deal where it is mentioned to an expecting mother? I don’t think so. We found out around 21 weeks that our second was indeed a boy. We were excited to be having a boy, but it was more about having been blessed with a healthy baby.

The real gender bias reared its ugly head when I became pregnant with our third. I can not tell you how many times we heard

“Hopefully it is a boy. Another girl would be a lot of drama.”

“Your poor husband if it is another girl.”

These comments truly bothered me. Not sure if it was all the hormones, but I became overly worried about the gender. I even had a touch of gender disappointment when I found out my third was a girl. So many people had made me believe that having a boy would make my family better. I wouldn’t have the girl drama, and my husband would be happier not being outnumbered by all the girls.

Then I saw her.

On August, 24, 2017, I met that sweet baby girl. I knew then that life was indeed perfect. She was perfect. I did not need another boy to make my life happier or my family any better. Chloe fits right in and she makes this family more of a family. I cannot imagine life any other way!

After having experienced the whole gender bias with all three of my pregnancies, I feel that I am more aware of it when I hear it. I know many people don’t mean to come across as being ugly with their gender comments, but coming from a mother who dealt with it-it is truly hurtful. I have heard it even more with families who have children of the same gender, be it all girls or all boys. 

“Are ya’ll going to try for a girl?”

“I can’t imagine having all girls! There is no way I could deal with that!”

So all you who love to make comments about the gender of our children, please keep those comments to yourself. We are more than happy with the ones we have: for all children are blessings and gifts from above.

Our families are more than perfect as they are!

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