I’m a Compulsive Crier

They say you’re not supposed to cry at work (by the way, who is they? I don’t know either). Apparently it’s unprofessional and according to Sex and the City, you don’t want to be known as the “woman who cries.” I have absolutely no control in the matter.

I am a compulsive crier. 

Oh it was bad before, but now that I’m pregnant, it’s incessant. 

In fact it was so prevalent that our original pregnancy announcement was an abbreviated list of all the tearful situations I had been in for the previous four months. This list included life insurance commercials, movie trailers with puppies, and a time when I had an actual meltdown because I had prepared shrimp, looked down, and “that’s what our baby looks like.” Tears fell into my fettuccine alfredo and I haven’t had it since.

But back to work. I cannot remember a time in my adult life where I didn’t have a breakdown. I’ve been the boss losing it in front of my staff, and I’ve shed a tear in everyone’s office that I’ve had to report to in the last five years. These aren’t just sad tears, people! During teacher appreciation week I just stopped wearing eye makeup. It wasn’t worth it. Kids singing? Don’t worry I brought my own tissue. I genuinely cannot help it. My happiness, anger, frustration, joy and anxiety all translates into crying. 

So with me being a cry-positive person, I of course, encourage my little family to do the same. It’s not very well received. The word “baby-fying” comes up and leads to this conversation. (Also in south Louisiana “baby-fying” is a word, autocorrect!) The last thing I would want for either of my sons is for them to not be able express their sadness or disappointment. Anger tends to be the substitute and for my young, black boys in the South, that’s just not an option. So cry it out I say! Remember being a kid and being told to dry it up? All you could do was that heaving breathing thing, wiping your tears while your body was still physically crying on the inside? It doesn’t help or make you stop does it? 

If you see some woman weeping at a stoplight, it’s probably just me listening to “Young and Beautiful” (I really need to get my windows tinted). If you’re a crybaby too, you’re not alone! When the time comes and you need a shoulder I’m here. But make sure yours is ready also, I just can’t handle people crying in front of me. It makes me cry. 

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