You Will Never See My Marriage On Facebook

There is no doubt about it :: this is the age of social media.

As a matter of fact, I am sure you found this post through a link that was posted on Facebook. While social media is the way we all stay connected, it is one thing that I have vowed to keep out of my marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that publicly doting on your spouse is a bad thing. I am guilty of writing the “Happy birthday to this guy right here” posts. However, because I absolutely value the privacy of our marriage, I keep it as close to me as possible. 

Part of this is because my husband is not on Facebook, or any other form of social media. His view on being on social media can be simply put as “don’t need it” and out of respect of this, I leave him off of mine as much as possible. I put up the occasional picture here and there, but if you were to scroll through my Instagram or Facebook, one would probably think I was a single mom. 

There are times where I would love to shout from the rooftops what an amazing husband and father he is. He absolutely is both and if you know him personally, you would know how much of that is true. There are also those times where I would love to shout from the rooftops how much he aggravates me and how much of a mess he can be … BUT … the good and bad are none of anyone’s business. 

Oversharing is now the name of the game, I suppose. Make the next person think you have it better, compare marriages, who has more and is more fulfilled … we all do it. However, for the sake of my marriage, I am leaving our relationship out of the equation. No one should know anything, highs or lows, about what happens between spouses. 

Social media has a tendency to almost bring out the worst in people. I can’t think of a more dramatic end to my day than scrolling through posts and comments. My fear is that the use of social media between my husband and I would triggering insecurities, either his or my own. I don’t see the point of inviting unnecessary dramatics into my home. Life has enough drama of its own and this is something we both have total control over.

Validation shouldn’t come from people outside of your relationship. Bragging on your spouse and giving them public applause is nice, but telling them in person, face-to-face how much they mean to you is worth its weight in gold. While letting the world know how #blessed I am in my marriage sounds innocent enough, I would much rather have him hear it straight from me.

To me, appearances mean nothing, while my marriage means everything.

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