Reasons Why I Can’t Tell You What I Want For Takeout

It’s dinner time, and the decision has been made to order takeout. What a relief, right? One less thing for this tired mama to worry about. But, wait. They want me to tell them what I want to order and from where. Yeah, I can’t do that, and here’s why.

1. 50% of my time away from work is spent coordinating the food in my family. I am in charge of creating the menu, making the lists, choosing which fruits and vegetables that I want to rot in the bottom drawers of the fridge, etc. I have officially depleted my food-related decision making capabilities for the week.

2. I just spent two hours scouring apps for coupons and setting my Target Cartwheel list. I don’t have any more browsing strength left to scroll through Waitr.

3. I’m too tired from grocery shopping for food to think about food. I spent the afternoon going to no less than three stores with a gaggle of begging, obnoxious children only to come home and begin unloading, sorting, tossing out old food, and organizing items so that the right food is within eyesight of the right people (i.e. cookies on the top shelf and anything my husband might need at exactly 5’8″ high, label facing out and newest box in front to avoid being asked “Did you go to the store this week?”). Now you want to include me in a discussion about what’s for dinner? Get outta here with that.

4. I know we can’t afford it. I really don’t want to cook, but I really don’t want to spend $50, but the only place I want food from would cost $50. Meanwhile, there is a kitchen full of options, but all of them require my energy to turn one of them into a meal. Just put an end to my misery and tell me to treat myself. I deserve it!

Not gonna happen.

5. I don’t want to waste the opportunity to eat what I like. I tend to stick with family friendly meals (think chain restaurant kid’s menu), because the only thing worse than having to cook every night is throwing away food that you have to cook every night. Now is my chance to order a fancy salad or a pasta with a bunch of vegetables in it (that my kids will beg to taste and spit out in my hand while making gagging noises). Who knows when I’ll have the opportunity to experience that type of joy again!?! It’s too much pressure!

6. I feel guilty, because I have every ingredient needed to make everything this family intends to order, but I just don’t wanna. See grocery shopping reason and kid’s menu reference.

7. I honestly don’t care…
that you can’t figure out what I want to eat, just pick something!

No, not that place.

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