Thank You For Not Expecting Them to “Man Up” | A Letter to my Husband

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When we started this journey way back when, I knew that with your rough and tough background there would be some expectations to raise our boys the same. I just knew they wouldn’t be allowed to cry or that fighting would be the only way to resolve anything. I had already set myself up for the fight in our parenting differences.

But I was wrong. So wrong.

You see, it took me a while but eventually all surfaced how wrong I truly was. 

You, a seemingly Southern man’s man with your callus hands and caveman-like work ethic, don’t “match” the boys we are raising. To society, boys like yours should be the biggest and the best of them all; they should want to excel in every sport they play, they all should want nothing more than to play with trucks and tractors all day … just as their daddy did. But you don’t care what society thinks.

You have four boys, each their own person. One is a runner. He is health-minded and social; he doesn’t care for team sports and likes to dress nice. You two actually have VERY little in common. The next, is emotional. He gets his feelings hurt and will talk it out. He is a lover of everyone. He is not the best kid on the t-ball team, but he loves being on the team. The third is your man’s man. He would rather work all day with his Paw Paw than hang out with Mom running the roads. He excels at anything he tries, and is an I-can-do-it-myself type of kid. The youngest is still trying to figure out his role in the mix of his brothers but I know will be just who he wants. These four boys of yours all are so amazing in their own skin and you embrace them each.

You let them cry when their feelings are hurt or let Mamma kiss bumps and bruises to make them feel better. You let them watch Peppa Pig and Sofia the First. You let them choose pink if they want pink. You let them sit a season out if they choose not to play, and you think it’s cute if they are picking flowers in the outfield. You let them snuggle and you let them give kisses. You let them fight it out if they choose, but you also help them talk it out if they’d rather. You let them be their own little people. No matter where we are or who we are in front of, you let them be.

As I take on each day with you raising our four boys, I come to realize how important your role as their father is to them. How incredibly important your every word and expectation is to their character … their make-up if you will. And each day I grow more and more grateful to have you as my husband, raising our boys without constraint. I’m forever thankful that you are ours.

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